How to Make Friends with Loneliness

Silhouette of a standing young man pointing finger in night starry sky on the background of blue Milky Way. Colorful night landscape. Beautiful Universe, travel background with sky full of stars
[Photo by den-belitsky via Envato Elements]

When we let ourselves experience the great void through meditation, we build a connection with all life that leaves no room for loneliness.

Many people say their hearts are empty and lonely. Whether they are with other people or alone, they feel disconnected from others. To distract themselves from their loneliness, they often occupy themselves with anything stimulating—from food and drink to shopping to games to drugs. Yet those distractions actually make them feel lonelier because they leave little time for receiving attention from where people need it the most—from themselves.

But why, in a world where we’re more and more connected by technology, are so many of us feeling so lonely?

I think it’s because our inner connections have broken down or were never firmly built in the first place. These connections are a connection to ourselves as well as to heaven and earth. The earth is the solid foundation under our feet that nurtures us and provides us with everything we need to survive. Heaven is the universal energy and consciousness we are all part of. The energy of heaven, the earth, and our own human energy exist in each of us. Ideally, they connect to each other. In order to feel whole and happy, to be free to love, we need to make the connection between these aspects strong and bright. Then not only will we not feel lonely, but our relationships will become whole and happy as well.

What does it mean to have a “connection,” though? It means energy flows freely and our minds are aware of it. Newsletter signup banner

What Blocks Our Connection?

Our attachments create walls that segment our inner energy and prevent our minds from interacting with all our energy. Emotions, self-perceptions, memories, and wounds, whether positive or negative, can become attachments if they hinder us from living in the present moment and responding authentically to our current circumstances.

When we are free from attachments, we may have thoughts, emotions, memories, and desires, but we also have the power to control our response to them. When we are bound by attachments, our sense of self diminishes, leaving us susceptible to sadness, loneliness, fear, and unhappiness.

We can cut our attachments with the power of our minds through meditation. When our brain waves slow down to a theta or delta frequency (0.1 – 8 Hz), as they do in deep meditation, we become free from all the drama and trauma inside us. Although it’s hard to maintain that state 24/7, with practice, we can return to it more easily. We can go there when we need to and manage our inner landscape.

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Night Sky Meditation for Letting Go of the Lonely Small Self

The darkness of night can soothe our senses, but it can also bring out our loneliness. I hope you can use this nature visualization of the night sky to forge a deeper connection with the part of you that’s beyond your attachments. It’s a bigger self that never feels lonely because it knows it is connected with heaven, earth, and all life. You can do this meditation outside or simply see the sky in your mind’s eye.

  1. See the night sky. Seeming almost as if they are about to fall, the stars shine, sparkling like jewels strewn across a black, velvet carpet. As you watch the stars, you can feel the mystery of immense space and time. Feel the being that is you existing within that immense space and time. Awareness of your being is awakening as you feel the infinite universe.
  2. Now slowly lift your hands and touch the stars. Imagine the starlight scattering like gold dust, falling down in through your fingers to your hands, moving along your arms, and descending into your chest. Imagine the energy of the starlight filling your whole body.
  3. Lower your hands and place them on top of each other on your abdomen. Choose the star that shines most brightly, and imagine it coming down to you. The star enters your brain through your forehead. That star, shining in your brain, is your divine nature. Try to feel the divine nature twinkling like a star inside you.
  4. The light of your divinity gradually grows brighter. The “you” you know will have many inadequacies and be weak. The heaven within you, however, is perfect, for it is connected with the infinite life force of the cosmos. The infinite life energy of the universe is descending into your body. Receive that energy of life.
  5. See the night sky once again. Look at the black space between the stars. It is an empty void. The stars of heaven look as if they are separate from one another, but they are connected as one through the void. The great void wraps itself around the universe as a whole. Everything in creation is connected as one on the background of the void.
  6. Through your breathing, the void enters and leaves your body every moment. As you slowly inhale, the void is entering your body. Now, slowly exhale. The void in your body leaves through your exhalation. The emptiness in your body and the emptiness outside your body are connected as one. Keep feeling the void coming and going as you breathe.
  7. Inhale life energy, filling the void, as you continue to breathe. You will feel the life energy gradually filling your body. The void helps to maintain life as it enters and exits the bodies of saints and sinners alike. When our minds are small, everything we encounter becomes something to fight over. When our minds are great like the void, though, we come to know a great love that takes into its bosom all quarrels and conflicts. Instead of filling the little space of your ego with something, tear down its walls and welcome the infinite void. Then, finally, you will obtain great freedom and peace.
  8. Now, slowly inhale and then exhale. Take another deep breath and exhale slowly.

Our loneliness and emptiness can be overcome by restoring our connection with heaven, earth, and ourselves. By bravely opening our hearts, embracing the infinite, and nurturing our spiritual essence, we find solace and connection. Let’s embark on this journey together, recognizing that we are all interconnected in the vastness of the void, and let our bigger selves guide us toward a more fulfilling and inspired existence.

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