Mastering Your Anger: 5 Steps to Take Control

Control anger instead of it controlling you.

When was the last time you felt angry? Was it last week, earlier today, or just a few moments ago?

Anger wields formidable power, lurking beneath the surface, ready to erupt in an instant. It possesses the strength to seize control of our thoughts and words, often leaving behind a trail of devastation.

Destruction can serve a purpose, however, especially when our anger is righteous. Some things need to be destroyed, particularly when change needs to happen.

But who controls us when we feel anger? Are we using our anger, or is our anger using us?

Anger, like all emotions, is energy, and energy needs to circulate. But even anger doesn’t need to flow with violence or darkness. The qualities of energy can always be changed and used in productive and beneficial ways.

Especially when we tend to get angry a lot, we may think that anger is part of who we are, and indelible part of our personalities. Who we are, however, is an energy and consciousness that is deeper, purer, and brighter than the energy of anger.

Realizing this, our minds can disassociate from anger. We can watch our anger dispassionately without reacting to it. When we know we have anger instead of that we are angry, we can use anger judiciously. And when anger would harm instead of help a situation, we can change anger into love. Newsletter signup banner

5 Steps to Mastering Anger

The process of mastering anger is the same as the process for mastering our bodies and brains and mastering our lives. The steps below are part of the process of the 5 steps of Brain Education.

  1. Strengthen our center.
    In previous posts, I described the energy center that rests between our hips, two inches below the navel (called a dahnjon in Korean). Being “centered” involves making this energy center full of clear and bright energy. A full dahnjon is a strong dahnjon that supports healthy energy circulation (like Water Up, Fire Down) and our deeper true self energy.
    Exercise for strengthening the abdominal energy center
  2. Keep our consciousness in the center.
    Being “centered” also means being at the zero point—a state of consciousness devoid of emotion or random thoughts. At the zero point, we see everything clearly and can stay focused on our goals and visions. Having a strong lower dahnjon helps us have this consciousness. The dahnjon pulls the energy of thoughts and emotions into it. Without this energy, we don’t experience the thoughts and emotions. The lower dahnjon also gives us a point of focus. By concentrating on it, we feel calmer and more centered and our intuitive abilities strengthen as well.
    Try this exercise for going to the zero point
  3. Watch without reacting.
    With our consciousness and energy in our center, we gain the ability to watch our internal happenings from a distance. Triggers in our environment can’t reach this place. We can see them but have the space to decide how we want to respond.
  4. Burn up anger and other emotions in the fire of the lower dahnjon.
    Even if our consciousness is centered, we may still have anger in our periphery. Unless we want to use the anger, we can respond to it by visualizing the energy going into our lower energy center. That center acts as a furnace that burns and purifies all energy. We can strengthen the lower dahnjon by feeding it the fuel of our emotions. This won’t work, however, unless the dahnjon is strong enough.
  5. Speak and act as our true selves.
    In control of our anger and strongly centered, we can choose how we speak and act. We can decide which actions will best support the wishes of our true self energy and consciousness. With a strong dahnjon, we have the power to take those actions without hesitation.

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Practicing this process takes a lifetime—it’s ongoing. But it gets easier with time. As our concentration and energy become stronger, we can maintain this ideal state for longer periods of time, and the environment and circumstances around us affect us less.

Through this process, anger transforms from a tyrant to a tool we can use in service of our highest selves.

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