Courtesy is being thoughtful toward, attentive to, and considerate of others, regardless of who they are. It requires always being mindful of and paying attention to others and being able to sense how they are and what they need in a given moment or situation.
When you behave in a way that’s considerate of others, that’s when you start developing attentiveness. When you are thoughtful and considerate, you develop courtesy. If you are inconsiderate, selfish, self-righteous, and conduct yourself in a self-centered way, your etiquette disappears. In order to become someone who is attentive, instead of being self-serving, be considerate of others.
Those who are attentive have good relationships with others and are loved by people. Attentiveness is very important for succeeding in society. When you develop courtesy, you become a classy person, and when you’re classy, you come to have a sense of responsibility. When you have a sense of responsibility, you develop leadership.
So far in human history, many people have thought that they had to thoroughly defeat others, to grind others under their heels, in order to survive. If anything threatened them or their family or their nation, they would strike back to protect themselves. They also set up defense systems to make sure no one could hurt them. This is our structure of mine vs. yours. I rule this piece of land and you can have that one. And if I’m afraid I may not have enough, then I will take yours as well.
This is not courtesy.
Instead, I think people should adopt the attitude: “The most important thing to me now is to be thoughtful and considerate of others. I have the desire to give something back to others. I intend to live to help others for the sake of society’s happiness.” This attitude is the path to expressing enlightenment and developing an enlightened society.
If you have the desire to be genuinely considerate and thoughtful toward others, then you’ve recovered your humanity, and you’re an enlightened person. You have to get moving and inform the people around you about this. When you do, your life will become a life that has a beautiful fragrance. When you’ve really become thoughtful and considerate, when you have genuine courtesy, your soul and divinity come alive. Peace comes from courtesy.
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2 Comments. Leave new
Thank you Ilchi Lee for this very valuable lesson. I will strive to be more attentive.
Let me express true reverence for life thru kindness & courtesy. Ith mindfulness I can be kind to all.